Shake What Your Momma Gave Ya

As we get older, some of our views change. We try to put away childish things and gravitate to newer adult things. Our mindset and just ideas in general about life change as we get older. Sometimes our goals are even changed or better yet, become modified. As for me I’ve noticed these changes and new goals and I embrace them. One of my new goals in life, is too keep my little girl off the pole. That’s right, the pole, people. It’s all over America. It’s goal is to have every woman at some point or another in the their young lives, thinking about it or dare I say…. Swing from it. Don’t underestimate the pole or your daughter for one moment and say” No, no, no, no, Moiba, not my baby, she won’t be swinging from no pole”. Many have made the mistake and given their own daughter dollars that were not for good grades, but for good dancing. Then they realize “Becky”, is that you? OH MY GOD!! (true story, I think. haha). Yes folks I accept this goal, with great fear and trembling but nonetheless, I accept it. I know women. Sounds cocky, but I do. I know they like to dress up and feel wanted, desired, and more importantly, appreciated. But you don’t need a pole for that. My little girl loves to dance and play, but when I saw her do the splits I quickly ran and scooped her up and told her firmly…”NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”.. You only do the splits if you’re trying out for the part of a ninja in an action film or your going to the Olympics to represent the China gymnastic team.( them girls didn’t look a day over 10 years old). So in the words of John Mayer. “Fathers be good to your daughters” and “teach them to NOT, shake what your momma gave ya!!!!!”

1st Impressions pt.2/Mrs. Green

I told you specifically to stay after school and you left anyway” snarled Mrs. Green from behind the door. I’m thinking this woman is crazy! Clearly, she has to be insane. What is wrong with this woman? Is there a quota for the kids she has to keep after school? Is there a contest for who can get the most kids in trouble after school? “Please leave.” “My parents said I can’t talk to strangers and you sound really strange to me”, I yelled, hoping this would cause her to get scared and leave. My brother, Bay, just shook his head as if to say “You’re stupid”. She continued on her tirade. “Moiba I don’t think this is funny at all. I will just wait until your parents arrive”. Now she was going to far. It’ll look worse if she’s here when my parents get home. I asked her” Are you sure you’re Mrs. Green”. She replied back, “ That’s the name on the paddle in my office, which you’ll soon see”.. Now she was just toying with me. I panicked and opened the door. She told me and my brother to get in the car. At this point I was hoping she really wasn’t Mrs. Green and that she was gonna kidnap me and my brother and sell us on the black market in China or Russia. Anything would be better than the Joe Jackson whooping I was gonna get from my parents when I got home. (If Joe hadn’t beat Micheal, we would’ve never got “Thriller”. Can ya dig it?) I digress. Mrs. Green scolded me all the way to her house, which was up the street from the school. She called my parents. The only thing worse than a beating is, the anticipation of a beating. My parents picked me up and lets just say that Micheal Jackson’s “Beat It” would’ve been the theme song for that cold, cold night in the Mustapha house. Now without Mrs. Green, you guys wouldn’t get these stories. So thank you Mrs. Green, for pushing me to write, kidnapping me, and whooping me. I guess it really was Mrs. Green after all, atleast that’s what her paddle said the next day.

1st Impressions..part 1

My little boy had his 1^st day of school yesterday and I felt so proud. I laid his clothes out on the bed the night before and took pictures. Yeah, that’s right. I took pictures. I wanted him to be clean for his 1^st day of school. 1^st impressions are everything. Lord knows I’ve jacked up many of my 1^st impressions. In kindergarten I was infatuated with my teacher and so like any other child who is curious about the unknown, I grabbed them. I’ll never forget Miss Campbell. There are some teachers that have had a great impact in my life. Mrs. Green was my 3^rd grade teacher. She was cross between the skinny Oprah and Angela Basset. It seemed like everyday we didn’t see eye to eye on something. She wanted me to be quiet while she was teaching and I wanted her to stop teaching while I was talking. Just basic miscommunication. I guess this particular day she had enough and wanted to me to stay after school for my behavior. I told her “no, because I watch my brother in the afternoons. She said well today you’re gonna have to stay and your brother can just stay with you. I’m thinking um “no”. There’s no way I’m staying here with her and miss all my afternoon cartoons. Plus Disney was having a free preview that weekend. No way. So as soon as the bell rings she tells me to stay put and as soon as she turned her head, I was gone. I grabbed my brother and walked to the house like any other day. I’m home now watching Ducktales drinking koolaid like any other afternoon, when I hear a knock. I look at my brother ,Bay and he just shrugs his head. Now we don’t open the door for strangers per mom and dad. Doesn’t matter who it is. That’s the rule and that’s what I’m sticking too. A voice that sounded like Mrs. Green comes through the door. “Moiba, I know you’re in there. Please open the door! First thought was. OH MY GOD, SHE IS CRAZY!! I answered back” I can’t answer the door for strangers”. “I’m not a stranger, I’m your teacher” she snarls back. All I could think to say at that time was” you don’t sound like Mrs. Green…”

TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> True story…

Sometimes Things Don't Go To Plan..Pt1

I was supposed to be a child actor by the time I hit 13. Honestly… I was on my way. I had just completed a play in the 6th grade. “Once Upon A Midnight Dreary and I was the lead. From there I was asked to audition for a film called “The Great Circle Race”. It was an educational math film. (haha, I was never good in math even with a script). I was bitten by the acting bug early and couldn’t get enough. I practiced interviews in the mirror as a child for movies that I would be staring in. There was one interview I used to do over and over. I was staring in the new James Bond movie. “When Black Goes Bad”…..The movie would’ve been great. It starred me and Keisha Knight Pulliam aka Rudy from The Cosby Show… Jaleel White aka Urkel from Family Matters was the evil Dr. Ticklemeslow. And Hilary from Fresh Prince was the evil, but seductive Miss Pink Cookies… I would sit in my room looking in the mirror practicing for opening night.” So how does it feel to be the 1st black James Bond” I said, then I would say…”It feels great. I’m looking forward to bringing something new to the franchise. Then I would say.” I hear you’re already signed on to do another one .What’s the title of the next 007 film”?.. I responded ever so smoothly. ”It’s called “I Don’t Want 5 On The Black Hand Side”. Now I know what you’re thinking. Why am I at a desk doing customer service when it’s so clear that I’m destined for something far greater? Sometimes things don’t to go plan and you gotta play with the hand you’re dealt. Right now, I got 2 and a possible… I’M STILL IN THE GAME!

All It Takes Is One MiC

There is a terrible epidemic in our country right now. Not guns. Not gangs. Not AIDS. My friends, its the microphone. The microphone has caused more damage in the past couple of years than ever. I literally almost pissed on myself when I heard Jesse Jackson say “ I wanna cut off his balls”. (Balls is not a bad word, people). He was talking about Barrack Obama. I’m not mad at him for sharing views with his buddy on national television with millions watching. I’m mad at the microphone. The audacity of the microphone to be on during a live interview on national tv. What was the microphone thinking? The microphone has committed some of the most heinous crimes in recent years. Jesse came back and apologized for talking about Obama’s privates and said it was it taken out of context. I’m thinking, the microphone is the devil. .It just committed another crime. What context can you take, cutting a man’s scrotum off? (This is correct term for balls, boys and girls) Please understand it’s not Jesse’s fault. It’s the microphone. It got President Bush at a dinner one time cussing. I’ve been at church services where people say some wildest things in the mic. Kanye said Bush don’t like black people in the microphone ( hahahahaha.. classic) It got Micheal Jackson saying” There is nothing wrong with sharing my bed with boys and climbing trees” in the mic. It got Shaq asking Kobe how does his *bleep* taste.(must’ve been the Vitamin water) in the mic. Rodney King said “can’t we all get along” in the mic. And now Jesse Jackson wants to castrate Obama and he was whispering in the mic……. Stay away people. Easily they approach….. the microphone, but it ain’t no joke. Make sure you do a mic check folks…..All it takes is one mic…

Who's the pappy? (extra one)...

If you haven’t heard by now, a man gave birth to a baby. Sorry I almost got sucked into the hype there for a moment. A woman dressed like a man gave birth to a baby. They asked her would the baby call her daddy. She said “ just because I had a baby doesn’t make me any less of man”.. Hmmmm I’ma say what she said again” JUST BECAUSE I HAD A BABY DOESN’T MAKE ANY LESS OF A MAN”…Ok.. One more time, because maybe it’s just me. Just Because I Had A Baby Doesn’t Make Me Any Less Of A Man. Well if that’s the case then here, just because I’m black doesn’t mean I’m not white. Just because it’s warm outside doesn’t mean it’s not freezing. Just because I’m drinking water doesn’t mean I’m thirsty. Just because I’m black doesn’t mean I can’t be president (oooohh, someone didn’t like that). Just because I’m tall doesn’t mean I’m not short. Just because I’m loud that doesn’t mean people can’t hear me. Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m sleep. Just because my mouth is shut doesn’t mean I’m not talking. Just because there’s a mole and a platinum plaque saying TP2.com- 1million sold on the tape doesn’t mean it’s The Pied Piper.(google pied piper please). And just because there are no weapons of mass doesn’t mean there are no weapons of mass destruction. And last but not least JUST BECAUSE I HAD A BABY DOESN’T MAKE ME ANY LESS OF A MAN…. Who’s the pappy???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!

Knowing is Half The Battle....GIJOE!!!!!!!

Coming up as a kid there were so many cartoons to watch. I remember trying to hurry up and get home from school just so that I didn’t miss any. Two of my favorites had to be GIJOE and He-Man. It was like the best hour of television in the world. At the end of every episode of He-Man and GIJOE, they would have some life lesson for us kids. The messages would range from “Don’t talk to strangers” , “fighting is not the answer” to lift the seat up when you pee”. You know, important things. Those little messages probably helped somewhat in my upbringing. After all that shooting and fighting on GIJOE, they would then tell us not to fight at the end of the show. That’s GENIUS!! What if they had those positive messages after some of our primetime shows or music videos. Imagine if right after a hip hop artist video like Lil Wayne (the boy is mean) was done, he comes up on the screen. “Hi. I’m Lil Wayne also know as Weazy” .” I know you just saw me tossing money in the air at that fine girl who only had on a piece of string, but please don’t liter like I just did. “Lets all save the planet”. “And that cup that I kept drinking from in the video, it’s not what you think. It’s milk and it does a body good”. Then every young wanna be rapper would be drinking milk and picking up trash. Or what if after a show like the The Sopranos, James Gandolfini (Tony) appears and says.” Hey boys and girls and grown folks”. “In tonight’s episode I slept with my 2 mistresses and killed 3 people.(That’s 5 big problems and the wife ain’t one...Hit me!!!) Now boys and girls you shouldn’t sleep around and shoot people. It don’t mix. You could end up in jail or worst, end up with a burning sensation down below.” I think the world could use these types of Public Service Messages after every show. It’s important that you know some of these things. After all, knowing is half the battle…GIJOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"It Wasn't Me"....(AN EXTRA ONE TODAY)

"They didn't catch me on tape stealing no boxes" said Craig to Smoky... Classic line from the film "Friday", but still truthful today. R.Kelly said that was not him on that tape. Hmmmm... I'm confused on what to believe these days. It's apparent now, that videotapes just don’t work anymore. I remember Marion Barry on videotape, smoking crack. I remember the Los Angeles police on tape, beating Rodney King. Hilary Clinton getting off a plane with no gun fire, on tape. Obama in church shouting and praising while Reverend Wright was preaching, on tape (hahaha. That’s funny) Now, R.Kelly on tape, using the bathroom on a young girl. Most of these people are free and LIVIN LA VIDA LOCA!! There are so many things that I've done that I've gotten in trouble for and there was no video of it. Which leads me to believe that if we tape our bad deeds then we'll go free. Next time you feel like doing something bad, tape it. You're sure to get off and be free. I'm an R.Kelly fan, but I ain't no fool. Kobe Bryant got off without a tape, but had he videotaped the encounter with the gal from Black Snake Moan, then he may not have even went to trial and won a championship that year. Maybe it's the type of crime. Maybe we all have different levels off what we think is wrong and right. Maybe there are some who think dog fighting or cheating on your taxes are absolute crimes of humanity, while there may be some who feel there's nothing wrong with child pornography. Michael Vick was charged with dog fighting.. Maybe he should been running a prostitution ring with young girls, then he could've got off. Of course he would've needed to videotape it. So it makes you wonder what do you have to do to go to jail these days. I think if R.Kelly was molesting dogs he would've gotten 20 to life. So the point of this is we all need to invest in some camera phones and listen to the song by Shaggy......"It wasn't me"

Thats All I'ma Say About That..pt2!!! Conclusion

Now getting beat up is one thing but with the people I hung around, getting beat up by a white boy is grounds for torment and ridicule. As he swung and hit me I doubled back and tried to find my footing. Surprisingly his punch was more like a poke in the eye. As I tried to gather myself he rushed me. There we were. Black and white, fighting with years of racial tension deep in our hearts. Only we were not fighting over racial equality, or a girl like Paul and Micheal. It was over a number 2 pencil. I don’t think this was part Dr. King’s dream. The gravel in my back began to hurt. I’m trying to keep a mental score in my head about which one of us was winning and I knew that it was my opponent. He had connected on his initial punch (sucker punch) and then rushed me, so by my scorecard, he was up. I could see the footsteps heading toward us from the ground and could hear the computerized voice yelling” YOU TWO STOP THAT FIGHTING”. Zapp was angry. The angrier he got, the more he sounded like Darth Vader. Other teachers came and grabbed us. I’m still thinking about the scorecard and realized that I needed to do something to atleast get a point in before the match would be called. As Adam layed pinned on the ground by teachers, I kicked him in the face. All I heard was “OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH” and that was enough to know that I had at least got an approval point from the judges. Now as we sat side by side in the principal’s office with busted lips and blackened eyes, I realized all this was done to fit in. If I got to get a busted eye to fit in then I’ll pass from now on. We both spoke and actually apologized to each other. It was no surprise but I was suspended for 3 days and to make matters worse, the results had come back. Adam had won and it was all over school that I got beat up. I went back to Mr. Roland’s class(aka Zapp) and he said “SIT DOWN”..(I gotta put it in all caps so u can imagine the computerized voice). “ SON, I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING.. I didn’t like the way that sounded and it was just me and him in the classroom. I said..”what is it?”…

He stuck out his hand and gave me a number 2 pencil that kinda looked familiar. He said ”THIS IS THE PENCIL YOU LEFT ON MY DESK WHEN U WENT TO THE RESTROOM AND THEN YOU CAME BACK AND ACCUSED ADAM OF TAKING IT…. I slowly began to put it all together and said” so that means” then Zapp interrupted and said “THAT’S RIGHT SON!! YOU GOT YO A$$ BEAT OVER THE WRONG PENCIL!!!!!!!!!

That's All I'ma Say About That... pt1...

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name”. I love that song, because it holds alot of truth to it. We all would like to fit in. Sometimes we go about it the wrong way. I’m looking for schools for my son and realize he’s gonna have to fit in. My freshman year in high school was spent trying to fit in. From the talent shows, to my crush on QB, it was all about fitting in. It’s 4^th period in Mr. Roland’s class. He had a talk box in his throat, so I used to call him Zapp. (Sorry, but I did). I had just come back from a bathroom break and noticed my pencil was gone. I asked who took my pencil. Quentin the resident class clown/ cool dude/d-boy pointed and said “he did. He pointed to Adam, the big corn fed country prep football white boy. Now I could’ve just got another pencil, but this trifling voice in my head said” DON’T BE A PUNK, GET THAT PENCIL”. I went to him and said” that’s my pencil”. He looked at me puzzled and said” dude I don’t have your pencil”.

This was the perfect time to reconsider my position on the pencil debate until I Quentin said “man he stole your pencil and punked you out”. At this point Zapp chimed in with “Settle down class”. Mustapha, I don’t want any trouble out of you”. His computerized voice always made me like he was taking my order in the drive through or something. I sat down in my chair pencil less and noticed the alleged pencil thief had his feet on my chair, and to make matters voice here was Quentin again with “oooh, you’re a punk. “He took yo pencil and now he’s got his feet on your chair.” I don’t know why I did this, but I figured it’s now or never to prove I ain’t no punk. I took another pencil and stabbed Adam in the leg. Not my proudest moment, but I thought I needed to make a name for myself. Like a new inmate who does want to get punked during his time in prison, I figured this bootleg shank would establish my name for the next four years in this school, but it didn’t quite work out they way I planned. He’s yells…”what the hell is wrong with you”?. I’m thinking the same thing what is wrong with me, but instead I said “you’re gonna see when we get outside”. The bell rings for lunch. At this point I could’ve just walked the other way and went to lunch, but I was never one to sell wolf tickets. I tapped him on the back as he headed towards the lunch room and said” what was all that &*(&*^) you were talking...He turned around slowly and hit me……That’s all I’ma say about that……………………………………..To be continued.

I Hate My New Phone

I think I’m fine. I think that I’m the best thing smoking. Call it cocky or arrogant, but it is what it is. I didn’t always think that, but after awhile I figured if I don’t think it, then no one else will. Funny thing is I’m reminded from time to time that some would disagree with my way of thinking. Call them haters, non believers, or as I like to call them “those people”. I got a new phone and I’m taking pictures of myself and everything around me that I possibly could. Much like a kid on Christmas day, I was not about to put this new toy down. I was so excited about my new phone that I hadn’t even took the time to put my email addresses and phone numbers in it yet which would later be the reason for my demise.. I take a crazy picture and send it to my friend to edit ( shouts out to Darcey) That was ghetto, anyway I digress. I get a text back that says, “who the ^&%*&% is this”…. I’m thinking why Darcey gotta cuss” at me like that. I responded back with, “you ok?”.. The response I get back said” I was till I got this ugly &^*&^#!* picture”. Who the hell are you anyway”? At this point, it’s no longer feeling like Christmas day for me. I look at the number to make sure I wasn’t trippin before I say some thangs that only a sailor or rapper on a mixtape would say. Of course, “it’s the wrong number”, as I read the digits. I text back.. “I’m sorry, my bad wrong number”. The text I got back said “ Don’t be sorry. I’m now using this ugly ^&^*$ picture you sent me as a picture id for bill collectors so I know not to answer my phone when I see your face.… I’m simply responed” That’s funny(it really was) and God bless them……. I HATE MY NEW PHONE.

Christians in the Club/KEEPIN IT 100 RADIO

THIS SONG WAS WRITTEN TO CHANGE THE WORLD!!! TO STOP A SERIOUS PROBLEM IN OUR COUNTRY… KEEPIN IT 100 RADIO PRESENTS!!!!!!!!

“CHRISTIANS IN THE CLUB”

HOPEFULLY THIS WILL BRING YOU SOME JOY TO YOUR DAY…. B EZ…

A couple of questions/ANOTHER EMAIL..

There are some things I just don’t understand. Maybe I’m slow or not as smart as some, but I just don’t get it. Like why answer your phone if you don’t feel like talking? That’s crazy to me. How am I supposed to know that at that precise time I called you, that you were in the middle of defusing a bomb, having relations, rushing to get to work, cooking, etc,etc,etc,etc,etc.. DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE THEN!!! There is wonderful tool I like to call voice mail. Let it roll folks.

Somebody please tell me why in the middle of the day you get a beautiful email about God, a prayer, or some sort of touching story, but at the end it says now send this to at least 15 people if you really love the Lord. So if I don’t, am I a

heathen? Am I now bound for hell because I didn’t send out somebody else’s prayer that they copied and pasted from somebody’s myspace page? Why can’t supervisors and employees have different break rooms? Even in school you had the cafeteria and the teachers lounge. You didn’t see the principal sitting with all the cool kids in the lunchroom talking about the party for that night. Matter fact the only time kids sat with teachers was in ISS.(IN SCHOOL SUSPENSION) Or so I’ve heard. Bosses and employees shouldn’t mix. How can you sit across from the person who just gave you a bad evaluation and share each others chips? That ain’t right. How can we talk about the supervisors trippin about “internet usage” when they’re right there at the lunch table with us? Now if you agree with me then send this to 15 people including me. If you don’t then you could very well be on your way too…………………….. reading another email.