I ALMOST KISSED A MAN..........

The human body is disgusting.. At any given moment it can stink, sweat, or release horrible fluids. We spend so much time fixing it up and making it acceptable that we never really stop and look at how disgusting it is. For the most part we can handle our own disgusting body, but to deal with another person’s body is where we draw the line. Part of my job requires me to meet different people. A lot of conversations and a lot of hand shaking. Well on this day I was conducting a meeting with several elderly people on their insurance benefits. I had them eating out of the palm of my hand. I concluded the meeting as I normally do and allow them to come up individually and ask questions. Richard was his name. I’ll never forget it either.. He approached me to ask question about our dental program. He began to speak, but I couldn’t hear him. I got closer to so I could hear him better. He then made eye contact with me and begin to ask questions. I realized at this point that I was uncomfortable with how close we were. As I stepped back , he stepped forward. Ok.. At this point I’m very uncomfortable and I don’t wanna have to Chris Brown this member.( I’m fan still). I back up again and he then steps forward and say’s “don’t worry I won’t bite, I don’t have the teeth to do it”.. I bit the inside of my jaw to keep from laughing. As he continued to talk about his problems, a shiny piece of spit came from his mouth and hit my nose..In my head I yelled as loud as I could OH MY GOD, WE’VE GOT DEBRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried to stay focused on his question, but I felt the spit going into my skin, sinking to rise no more. To make matters worse another shiny piece of spit landed directly on my lip. At this point I seriously thought about spitting back on him. I then had to keep my lip hanging out further than it already does to keep the spit from going in my mouth. I looked like I was auditioning for Bubba from Forrest Gump( You wanna buy a shrimp boat?) When someone spits in your mouth that equivalent to kissing… Just think I almost kissed a man!!!!!!!

Who's the pappy? (extra one)...

If you haven’t heard by now, a man gave birth to a baby. Sorry I almost got sucked into the hype there for a moment. A woman dressed like a man gave birth to a baby. They asked her would the baby call her daddy. She said “ just because I had a baby doesn’t make me any less of man”.. Hmmmm I’ma say what she said again” JUST BECAUSE I HAD A BABY DOESN’T MAKE ANY LESS OF A MAN”…Ok.. One more time, because maybe it’s just me. Just Because I Had A Baby Doesn’t Make Me Any Less Of A Man. Well if that’s the case then here, just because I’m black doesn’t mean I’m not white. Just because it’s warm outside doesn’t mean it’s not freezing. Just because I’m drinking water doesn’t mean I’m thirsty. Just because I’m black doesn’t mean I can’t be president (oooohh, someone didn’t like that). Just because I’m tall doesn’t mean I’m not short. Just because I’m loud that doesn’t mean people can’t hear me. Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m sleep. Just because my mouth is shut doesn’t mean I’m not talking. Just because there’s a mole and a platinum plaque saying TP2.com- 1million sold on the tape doesn’t mean it’s The Pied Piper.(google pied piper please). And just because there are no weapons of mass doesn’t mean there are no weapons of mass destruction. And last but not least JUST BECAUSE I HAD A BABY DOESN’T MAKE ME ANY LESS OF A MAN…. Who’s the pappy???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!